


Breaking the Balance

by HomewardBones



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-09-05 20:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20279581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomewardBones/pseuds/HomewardBones
Summary: Our Tres-Horny-Boys find a new bakery opening up on the Bureau of Balance moon base. Taako knows something's up. Merle likes the novelty cakes in the shape of Pan. Magnus feels different.Spoiler warning, just in case, y'know?---Devoted to 3 of my best gal and non-binary pals.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N-IREy7C9s <---Background music for this entire story.





	1. Is this what home would have felt like?

**Author's Note:**

> I've grown to love Magnus as a character and honestly I'm v sad that there are so few romantic/mature stories about him. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own/nor claim to own any of the TAZ characters, as they are the intellectual property of the McElroy family.

Leon's wails could be heard through out the moon base as Taako, Merle, and Magnus depart his chamber gloating about their new gear. The trio walked down the halls towards Fantasy Costco, to see what loot they could swindle from Garfield, the deals warlock today. As they approach the front doors, one at a time the boys all smell something delicious wafting through the air, it's sweet and buttery and immediately Taako turns on his heel to investigate. He laid eyes on a small new bakery now built into a once empty wall of an open food court. It is by far the most lively thing about this moon base that he'd ever seen. Enthralled, he, surprisingly, rushes over. Merle and Magnus both quickly notice that Taako has sped off in the opposite direction of Fantasy Costco and make their way across the court to join their partner. 

As the boys joined Taako in front of the bakery display window they are all shocked to see such perfectly formed cakes, pastries, muffins, and bread. The air around them seemed intermingled with fruits and nuts, sweet creams and cheeses, and even a deep mulled wine scent bewitched them as they admired the display. Taako wordlessly walks into the bakery, and a little bell chimes softly above the door. He is immediately stuck by all of the same smells as before bit with added floral and herb notes as well. The walls, floor, and ceiling are all dark cherry wood. He sees an area to sit and eat near a crackling fireplace, and on either side of the stone hearth are two large bookshelves filled with tomes large and small for those who wish to sit a spell. Above the fireplace is a giant evergreen wreath that has recently been misted with water, as it gives off a dim sparkle. straight ahead of him is a glass display case filled with more baked goods, sitting atop the counter is an antique cash drawer, that is made of polished brass. He is stunned, nothing has ever felt this close to home to him before, but this little bakery with it's old charm makes even his cool composure melt, just a little.

"Hello there," a soothing voice calls from the small kitchen behind the register. "I'll be right with you."

Merle and Magnus join Taako, all standing in awe and shock, as a tall pale grey skinned elf woman makes her way to the counter. "Welcome to my humble shop, can I get you boys somethin'?" she smiles.

The boys all slowly come back to reality and approach the counter to look closer at the baked goods on display.

"You make all of these?" Merle finally speaks up, admiring a large novelty cake, made to look like Pan. 

"Absolutely, baking is my passion." The young woman's voice is a sweet as sugar and it causes Taako to almost glare up at her as he stands straight up.

"_Listen..._I don't mean to brag or anything, but I'm a world renowned chef!" He boasts proudly. She offers a smile, but doesn't seem to understand. 

"I'm Taako, y'know, from TV?"

"Oh...I'm sorry you'll have to forgive me, I'm not familiar with...tv." Her brows furrowed in genuine confusion, "But I'd love to try your cooking someday!" 

Taako feels like he was just gut punched a little. _How could someone NOT know who I am? I'm famous! I bet I'm a way better baker than some nobody on a moon base!_

Magnus kept quiet, he admired the wood furnishings and noted the craftsmanship was far superior than that of the rest of the moon base. He drifted over to the table in the corner and brushed his hand over the wood, it was worn smooth, he could tell that it was cleaned and oiled every night. _Julia would have loved this place..._ His mind drifted to a place where Julia was still with him and he drifted off into a daydream while he stared at the empty chair across from him,

"Would you boys like to try the special of the day?" The young elf woman asked as she held out a small wooden cutting board with three slices of lavender bread, it was fragrant and dense bread, still steaming ever so slightly. Merle reached up quickly and took the first slice, giving it a long sniff before taking a generous bite. His eyes lit up and without thinking he blurted out how divine the bread tasted. 

A smile spread across the face of the elf and she thanked him. "I'm so glad you like it! Please enjoy, it's on me!" she gleamed. 

Taako wasn't impressed, he examined, poked, prodded, sniffed, and eventually with an elbow jab from Merle, took a bite. It was delicious! The bread was still warm and fell apart in his mouth, the lavender has a soothing effect but wasn't too potent to overwhelm the other elements of the bread. He swallowed, and looked closer at the bread, "You added lemon rind, and let this dough rise twice didn't you?" he asked coolly. 

"Yes sir, I did!"nodding as she speaks. Her eyes drift to Magnus sitting silently at the table by the hearth, and could feel the sadness in his posture. walking around the counter she slowly made her way to Magnus and softly placed her hand on his shoulder to pull his attention back. He blinked hard a few times before looking over at her hand, following it up to her sharp elven face. "I'm sorry to interrupt your thoughts, sir, you look hungry, may I offer you some bread?" She says as she kneels down next to him, her eyes full of concern, but her face always smiling. Magnus notices little wrinkles near her eyes, she must smile a lot, he thought as he took the remaining slice of bread from the cutting board and took a bite. Without realizing it he'd eaten the whole slice, it was the best bread he'd ever tried, it was filling and comforting all at the same time. 

"That was delicious, thank you, ma'am." Magnus' voice gruff and low. 

"My name is Gwyn, my apologies for not introducing myself."

"Thank you, Gwyn." Magus speaks as he stands. 

Merle, with his face placed up against the counter's display case asks how much for the Pan cake, to which Gwyn responds, "500 GP, sir." Like a little kid wanting a toy, Merle tugs on Taako's robes and whispers to him. The elf woman lets out a soft chuckle as she returns to her counter and brushes her hands off on her waist apron. Taako shoos Merle off of him and turns his attention to Gwyn. "Listen, how long have you been baking?" "Since I was a small lass, baking is the family business." she gleams. "You said you were a chef, do you still cook?" Taako's face darkens just a bit, but he maintains his confidence and explains that working for the Director really eats up all the time he has for cooking as his work is extremely important. "You said that you were on TV, like a show? Why did you stop doing that?" Taako is struck with guilt and offers a simple, "I go where the money is, that's show business, sweet cheeks." promptly dropping the subject. "Listen I guess we should get going but uhh, nice meeting you, good luck with your bread." and with that he is quick to leave, heading towards Fantasy Costco. Gwyn is left stunned, and maybe a little offended by his words, unsure if he was being rude or not. Before she could fully process any of what just happened, she hears Merle clear his throat and plop a bag of gold onto her counter. With a grunt he says, "That ought to cover the Pan cake, I'll have that to go, please!" Gwyn quickly grabs an enchanted to-go box, that keeps the contents stable at all times, and places the cake inside. She ties it with a thin rope and places a sprig of lavender into the knot and hands it to Merle. "Here you go sir, I hope you enjoy it!" Merle grabs the box gleefully, and thanks the elf woman, before bounding after Taako. Gwyn lets out a sigh, and slumps slightly onto her counter as she puts the gold into her till. Her smile fades, as she props herself onto her stool and waits for the next customer, forgetting that Magnus hadn't left with the boys. Magnus studies the elven woman, she was tall, not lean like most elves, her shoulders were a bit more broad, but still sharp. He admired her work and her store...

_Is this what home would have felt like?_ Magnus felt a sting deep inside, and felt the pain welling up in his eyes.


	2. Hearth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwyn bakes her days away on a moon base floating in the sky, she watches as folks come and go, and some never come back, but she remembers.

Fire cracked softly as Gwyn stoked the wood in the giant stone hearth of her bakery. It was a night of mourning, as a beloved member of the Bureau of Balance was erased from the world. A few people stopped in to have a drink in his memory and partake in the customs of eating to celebrate their fallen friend. Even the Director, Lucretia, came in to have a sampling of the mulled wine and sit by the fire. It felt lively, but the air was thick with sadness as people laughed, cried, and reminisced together. Gwyn offered comfort and food to those who needed it, or a shoulder for those to cry on if they so desired. Even Lucretia found herself in Gwyn's arms at one point during the night. 

Slowly folks made their way back to their housing and the bakery fell silent, only the crackling fire breaking the stillness that flooded the store, and after some time to breathe, Gwyn began to tidy up the mugs and plates so that she too could retire for the evening. That is until three men entered her store, laughing, partially drunken, and leaning against one another. 

"_Hey sweet cheeks, me and my boys here will have some of that wine and bread_" Taako drunkenly slurred as he essentially launched himself into a chair at a table that Gwyn was polishing. Gwyn without missing a beat smiled and quietly grabbed three clean mugs and poured mulled wine into each one, as well as placing an antique silver platter on the table. The tray was overflowing with breads, cakes, mixed nuts, berries, and cheeses. 

"You boys stay as long as you need, I can't imagine how hard all this must be for you..." She places a hand on Merle's shoulder and gave it a small squeeze, before tending to the other tables that still needed cleaning and polishing.

Taako and Merle looked at one another and immediately started to let out a deep roar of laughter, banging their fists on the table and wheezing together. "Listen, we didn't even know the guy, really--" Merle was cut off by Taako, and all of his self confidence, "Boyland was an idiot, he did this to himself, and we're supposed to feel _sorry_ for the guy? I don't think so!" Taako punctuated his words with a huge gulp of wine before slamming his mug down on the table, the loud bang making Gwyn jump just a little. 

"Dude enough, just drop it." Magnus sighed, his voice low but demanding. He looked up at Gwyn to offer her a wordless apology but she kept her back to the boys while she did her daily chores. Her hair was different today, he noticed, her braids were loose and there were more fly-away hairs than usual. strands hung low out of the braids and framed her face. The warm glow from the fire cast amber light across the bakery, and over her silver hair, like it was kissed by fire. Gwyn carried all of the dishes and her broom to the back of the store, a few moments later she approached the boys to ask if they'd like a refill on wine, Magnus nodded, Merle let out a drunken grunt, and Taako had passed out in his chair, head leaned back. As she filled the empty mugs, Taako's hand reached out and grabbed Gwyn's arm suddenly, causing her to drop the kettle of wine, and it shattered. 

"Taako!" Magnus yelled, standing abruptly to pull Gwyn away. Taako, with his face in very close proximity to Gwyn's, spoke softly and clearly, "Who are you? You're not like us. Why are you here?" 

With that Magnus pulled Gwyn away from the table and held her by his side while Taako tried to stumble around the table, but fortunately tripped on his Umbra Staff and fell to the floor in an intoxicated heap. 

"Hey you okay?" Magnus turned to face Gwyn, and had his hands on her shoulders, trying to read her face. 

Her face...A very light shade of grey, her eyes like steel prisons. When he was this close to her he noticed that she smelled like lavender. It felt like an eternity until Gwyn cleared her throat and Magnus dropped his grip on her shoulders, letting his hands slide gently down her arms. "I'm sorry for the way he spoke to you, please let me help you clean the mess." 

"There's no need Magnus, though I truly do appreciate it." Those familiar wrinkles formed around her eyes when she smiled. Something deep in Magnus' gut stung him again, his mind drifting elsewhere while he watched her clean up the mess on the floor. 

She knelt down and swept the shattered kettle into her apron, laying an old rag that was in her pocket over the puddle before she dumped the ceramic pieces into a bin. A sigh could be heard from her as she walked to the back of her store, the heels on her shoes clicking against the hardwood floor as she fell out of sight. When she reappeared, carrying a bucket of hot water and a mop, she was stunned to see the three men had gone, and her store was finally empty. 

Gwyn, exhausted, emotionally drained, and just wanting some peace, snuffed out the fire in the hearth, deposited her till in the safe and locked the door to the bakery.

She lingered at the front door, head against the old wood, before she let her tired feet carry her back to her living quarters. She undressed, bathed, and it felt like a lunar moon cycle had passed before she finally could fall asleep. Taako's words screamed in her head, _"Did he know? How? Surely he doesn't know. I'm safe here, with him here...I will always be safe. Taako knows nothing, he was just drunk. But what if?" _Gwyn woke up the next morning, feeling refreshed. Dressing herself, braiding her hair, brushing her teeth, and having her morning tea. Before heading to her bakery she passed the mirror in her bed chamber, her reflection followed, but it was distorted only slightly. She never liked to look, for she hated the mirror.

As she made her way through the moon base, she passed many a familiar faces, all cheerfully going about their days, as if they'd forgotten the night before. Because they had, the Voidfish has eaten up Boyland's entire existence from this world. His family, children, friends, they'd all forgotten him, and they would never remember again. But she remembered.

When Gwyn approached the bakery store front, and on the ground in front of the door was a box, wrapped with twine and a sprig of lavender messily placed inside the knot. She picked it up and set it on a table by the hearth, underneath the sprig was a note, 

"Gwyn, I'm sorry about your kettle, and about Taako. I promise it wont happen again, not while I'm around. I hope this helps, Magnus Burnsides"

Upon entering her bakery, she lit the hearth, misted the evergreen wreath and sat down at the table that she had placed the box down on. She opened the box and sure enough, there was her kettle that she threw into the bin, better than new. Her smile was wide and she even shed a single tear, while she brushed her fingers over the ceramic. 

"Magnus..." she whispered. She sat by the hearth for a while, staring into the flames, listening to the crackling. _Come back soon, Magnus._ She thought.


	3. Gwyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus POV chapter. Gwyn was always on his mind, why couldn't he shake her?

Winter had finally made its presence known to those who occupied the moon base. The nights got longer and colder and all Magnus could think about was an old wooden table next to the hearth with a mug of mulled wine, and of course, a woman by his side. He found himself making any excuse just to stop by the bakery, if only for a minute. Gwyn worked alone and ran the shop by herself, she cooked, cleaned, and did it all with a smile. She reminded him a lot of Julia, his late wife. 

Magnus walked aimlessly around the base made of stone and steel, it felt like a prison when he wasn't out on a mission to reclaim a Grand Relic. New information hadn't come in yet and all the boys could do was train, it was all just a waiting game for them. He wandered into an area where he'd never been, the archway over the door that led into this huge room simply read "Moon Garden". Intrigued, he entered. Before him was a garden that was open to the world beyond the confines of the base, it was an enchanted area that, from the ground, looked like a crater on the moon. The room was filled with evergreen trees, and winter flowers, all covered in a misting of pristine snow, and a breeze whistled through the garden, making the branches of the trees dance. 

It was one of the most beautiful sights he'd ever seen, a perfect place to be alone. He walked through the garden in amazement, everything felt so real to him, because it was. This room was created by Lucretia for those who missed life on their home planets, it changed with every passing season. Magnus found a bench under a tree and sat there, the chilly breeze finding it's way in eventually as he thought for a long while...about Gwyn.

He liked recalling what she looked like day to day, and fuck was she beautiful to him. Long silver hair, often worn in braids. Grey eyes that threatened to swallow him whole if he looked too long. She stood tall, like most elves, with broad shoulders and slightly muscular. Kneading dough and staying active had formed her into a strong woman. Her hands soft, with bruised knuckles, and cool to the touch. Any time Magnus had ever touched Gwyn, she was cold. He kept the image of her face in his mind as he fell deeper into his day dreams. Her nose was slightly pointed, the sharpness matched her eyes, her lips full and always smiling. Faint smile lines and wrinkles near her eyes were proof of that. 

Magnus hardly ever missed a day in months to visit her, to keep her image fresh in his mind. Over time the image of Julia had faded and Gwyn had slowly taken her place. He was aware of that, and it hurt him to think about, Julia was his wife, and he loved her more than anything. He loved her more than life, and for years he swore to avenge her death, only now he can't remember the name of the person responsible. _Maybe it's for the better?_ He thought.

Mindlessly, Magnus had grabbed a branch and had started carving away at it, as wood-working eased his mind. 

_Candlenights is coming, how many years has it been without Julia now?_ He'd lost count at this point, he didn't want to remember anymore. _Maybe...I should feed her name to the Voidfish, would I forget completely? Is that what she would have wanted? Jules...What do I do? All I want is for you to be back, just for a little while._ Tears pooled up in his eyes, and fell freely onto the fresh snow at his feet. It eventually turned into hopeless sobs and he dropped the wood he was carving and the pocket knife down and held his face in his hands. This was the first time he'd cried in years, it felt like he'd been stabbed through the heart over and over as he let out cries of anger and pain. 

Eventually, the tears ran dry and he found himself in a state of calm that he'd not known before, it felt a lot like relief. Magnus was too proud to ever tell Taako and Merle that he felt this way, but he was sure that they knew he missed Julia. When his vision cleared he looked down at the piece of wood he was carving and picked it and the pocket knife up, and he began carving again. He stayed in that garden for hours, no matter how cold he got, just because it felt peaceful. 

His mind found itself wandering back to the bakery, visions of Gwyn, in her long broom skirt that flowed when she walked, the sound of her laugh, and the feeling of her hands on his shoulder brought him warmth as the winter winds kicked up the freshly fallen snow. When Magnus thought of Gwyn's hands touching him, he felt his heart flutter, and it surprised even him. He hadn't felt that in years, and he only ever felt it for Julia.

_Gwyn..._ All he wanted in that moment was for her to appear before him, he just wanted to be near her.

_Come on Magnus, she's just nice to everyone, there's nothing more there. There couldn't be, right? She wouldn't want me. I'm just...Magnus._ He thought, his eyes started to burn again. Magnus cleared his throat and sighed deeply, his breath visible to him, making him aware of how cold he had gotten. Not wanting to get sick he decided it was best to leave, so he pocketed his knife and the trinket he was carving and made his way back to the door. Before opening the door, he looked back at the bench he sat on, and just for a second, thought he saw someone sitting there. He shook his head and just chalked it up to sleep deprivation, and so he left. 

Once back in his living quarters, he laid in his bed, a snoring Taako and Merle were the only other sensory he had other than the howling winter winds outside the base. Thoughts of Gwyn whirled around in his head, and slowly they evolved into thoughts of himself holding Gwyn, dancing with her, laughing with her, and loving her. He could swear up and down that his dreams smelled of lavender, and that when he kissed her in the dream, it felt more than real, but he knew better, it would always be just a dream.


	4. Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwyn's POV. What did Taako know? Would he ever tell Magnus? Did Magnus know? God's she hoped not.

Each morning on the moon base felt the same, wake up, bathe, get dressed, work. Gwyn's routine seemed so normal, so mundane, but was it normal? On her way out of her living quarters she avoided the mirror, as always, took the same route to her bakery, as always, and opened the store at the same time everyday, as always. Her smile never fading as she greeted customers, she was so, so perfect. Like a chameleon with the perfect camouflage, blending in so masterfully with the coming and going of the busy moon base. 

Like clockwork, Magnus visited her every day bringing her fresh lavender from the moon garden. He started to help out a little, cleaning tables, misting the evergreen wreath, and stoking the fire. He had even done some repairs on the wobbly chairs and table when it was needed. Gwyn could feel something different in the air when he was around, she felt safe, maybe even loved. She dared not assume that though, for it was not her place, that would have been too bold. However, that didn't stop her from finding herself watching him just a little too long when he was in her store. 

In her down time she would prop herself onto her stool by the register and rest her elbows on the counter, holding her cheeks in her hands, and watch him, even if he was just sitting by the fire. Magnus was tall, burly, like a bear. His hair short and curly, and deep auburn like his big beard and sideburns. He was always so quiet, but when he did talk his voice was low and gruff. Just as she was always cold to the touch, Magnus was the opposite. He was like a furnace, and just for a moment, she found herself thinking what it would be like to be so close to him on a cold night like tonight. 

_I bet I'd never get cold again..._ She thought, nearly making herself blush at the thought. She kept looking, his hands were large and calloused from battle, he had scars all over, including one on his face over his right eye. Gwyn loved watching him as he whittled by the hearth, always careful not to get wood shavings on the floor as he did. The movements as he carved were so sure, but gentle, just like Magnus. Strong, tall, fierce, but so gentle all at the same time. 

Seeing him in her shop always made her feel safe, and it saddened her when he would leave, but he always smiled at her, it was his quiet way of saying _I'll be back tomorrow_. And he always did come back.

The walk back to her housing was tough on her aching feet, and all she wanted to do was take a bath. Magnus had brought her so much lavender that she had an over abundance, but she'd never tell him to stop. As she ran a bath she tossed a dozen large sprigs into the hot water and lowered herself down into the tub, and steeped herself until she had turned into a prune. The bath was fragrant and soothing, as the herb made it's way in to her muscles. Gwyn laid in the tub for what felt like hours, but even with her body relaxed her mind raced with worry, anxiety, and fear.

_He knows..._ A voice hissed inside her head. _Taako knows what you are, and he will tell Magnus eventually. You can't hide it, they hunt down things like you, oh if only Lucretia knew, she'd have to killed on sight_ The voice laughed. _Do you think Magnus would still want you? Not after all this time, and certainly not like this! You're lying to him, and you like it!_ Gwyn sunk further down into the water and shut her eyes tightly, trying to ignore it, the voice, and the truth.

_Just think about it, what could have been, it makes you so sad doesn't it? It hurts you so much! As it should, you're foul, why, you've even convinced people you're an elf, it's laughable!_ The voice grew louder and more distorted and it became so unbearable that Gwyn stood from the bath and hurried to the giant mirror in her room, and she looked at her face. Her eyes sunken and black, her skin stretched paper-thin over her bones, and a fang filled grin across her face. 

_That's right, look at me, look at us!_ The voice screamed inside her head. 

"Stop it! Please!" Gwyn cried out as she banged her fists on the mirror. 

_Not until you accept what we are! When you stop pretending you're just a sweet little elf girl, and tell the truth!_

Gwyn let out a visceral scream and she punched the glass of the mirror, shattering it instantly. and as the glass fell to the floor, the voice left her mind and all went silent. Until a banging could be heard at her door, Gwyn gasped and grabbed her robes, throwing them on as she walked to her door. She checked the peep-hole and saw Lucretia standing there, and Gwyn nervously opened the door.

"Good evening," Lucretia spoke, her voice smooth. "I received word of a noise complaint, is everything alright?" 

"Oh, I'm so sorry, yes everything is fine," Gwyn wiped her hands nervously on her robe, drawing the directors attention, and her eyes widened. 

"Gwyn! Your hands!" 

Her hands were sliced open and bleeding, but Gwyn didn't even feel it. Lucretia grabbed Gwyn's arm gently and with out a word sat her down at the dining room table in Gwyn's living quarters. She quickly tended to the wounds, and when she was finished bandaging them, looked into Gwyn's eyes. 

"What happened?" Her tone low and serious.

"I...I slipped after my bath, and I caught myself on the mirror in my room, and it just shattered," she stumbled over her words. "I'm so sorry, Madam Director, I can pay to have it replaced, I'm so sorr-" Lucretia hushed Gwyn and hugged her, "It's okay dear, accidents happen, and don't worry about the mirror, it will be removed by this time tomorrow, I know you never liked it much anyways."

Gwyn's eyes went wide, she never told anyone about the mirror, and she slowly pulled herself away from Lucretia, and looked into her eyes. 

"You don't have to explain to me, dear child, I know that you're a Lich." She whispered.


	5. Snow

"Wh-What?" Gwyn's voice soft and shaking. How did Lucretia know? She sat stunned, her own hands still being held gently by the director. 

"Taako came to me in private and told me that something seemed off, so naturally I investigated, of course." Her voice was still smooth and almost motherly, as if trying to soothe a child. Gwyn could not detect any malice in her voice, but Lucretia was always known to keep a very composed, professional attitude.

"Please...I don't want to leave, I don't mean any harm, I swear it." Gwyn's eyes starting to well up with tears and Lucretia shushed her and cupped her face. 

"You have nothing to fear here, dear girl. I am very familiar with Liches. Your secret is very safe with me," she reassures. 

"But what about Taako?" her voice barely above a whisper at this point, as she shook with anxiety. 

"I'll take care of him, you are very liked here, and you're doing such wonderful work with the bakery, the entire crew, and of course, Magnus." Lucretia smiled, and it was obvious to see that it was genuine. 

Gwyn's eyes burned with intensity when Magnus was brought up, and it weighed so heavily on her heart. "Please...Please don't tell Magnus, I want to tell him myself. He has to hear it from me, because...If he walks away, I want it to be because he heard it from me...Not someone else." Her tears flowed freely now, and the sobs ripped through her like a knife.

"Shhhh, Shhhh, I will not tell a soul, you're safe here." The directer pulled Gwyn into a tight hug, rubbing her back gently, rocking her back and fourth until she stopped crying. Lucretia had a very special way of calming those around her with her kind demeanor. 

"Would you like to visit the moon garden to clear your head?" She offered. "I find it helps in times like these."

Gwyn rubbed her eyes and nodded, and Lucretia motioned for her to get dressed. Once Gwyn was in her long night gown, and threw a shimmering shawl over her head and shoulders, and walked with the director down the winding halls until they arrived at the moon garden. Lucretia opened the door for Gwyn and motioned for her to enter. 

"If you ever need to reach me, you can just use this stone of far-speech, and I'll always answer. Good night Gwyn." She handed Gwyn the stone, and rubbed her shoulder, offering a small smile before retiring to her own chambers for the night.

Gwyn rolled the stone over in her hands before looking back to the moon garden. Hesitantly, she entered. Her bare feet sinking into the snow as she padded her way through the garden, admiring every tree she walked past. She could hear the howling winds outside the base, as the snow whirled around her and fell. As Gwyn walked, she found a bench and decided to sit there for a while. She wasn't bothered by the cold, and she loved the snow. Gwyn sat silently on that bench for hours, as snow gathered on her shoulders and clung to her eyelashes. Her mind was completely empty for one, no voice, no fear, just silence. It was the most peaceful she had been in a long time. Eventually, her mind began to drift as it always did to Magnus. 

_I have to tell him, even if he hates me for it, he deserves the truth._ She thought, a pain rising in her chest at the thought. 

"Gwyn." A low voice said from a few feet away from her. Startled, she looked up to see Magnus, standing tall with a dusting of snow over his clothes. 

"Magnus? How long have you been in here with me? I thought I was alone." Gwyn's voice cracked slightly from not speaking.

"Not too long, I came here to clear my head, Taako just wont shut up lately." He sat next to Gwyn on the bench, leaving a little space between them out of respect.

Gwyn felt a sharp pain deep in her gut and the mention of Taako. "Do you...Do you want to talk about it? Forgive me if that was too forward, of course it's none of my business." She mumbled.

Magnus let out a hearty chuckle and sighed, "Nothing is too forward from you," he rubbed the back of his neck and continued, "He's under the impression you're not who you say you are, and just goes on and on that he's certain you're not even an elf."

She kept her cool on the outside, but on the inside she was burning with fear and anger, but she wouldn't let Magnus see it, not yet at least. 

_Tell him..._ The voice in her head was distant and distorted, but it didn't seem malevolent, yet. _Gwyn just fucking tell him, stop torturing us!_ it pleaded. Gwyn sighed. 

"Magnus...I...want to be alone for a while longer." She said bluntly. He looked at her, the hurt obvious in his eyes. When he looked at her, searching for anything in her face, he saw the tears that had started to form and fall down her cheeks, snow sticking to them and then promptly melting. 

_No! Tell him!_ The voice screeched distantly.

Magnus placed a hand on Gwyn's and held it firmly. "Gwyn, I don't want to leave, I will if it's what you truly want, but please don't make me walk away from you." She looked down at his calloused hands as a tear fell onto it. 

"You don't want to be near me, or you won't anymore." Her trembling voice barely above a whisper. 

Magnus lifted a hand up to her face, using his thumb to brush away the stream of tears, and turning her face gently to face him. "Gwyn, there's not a whole lot you could do or say that would make me not want to be near you, I think you of all people should know that by now, what's on your mind?"

"You." She brought her hand up to hold his and rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. "Magnus, every day you come to my shop, and every day I want to tell you but I just can't..." She could feel the sobs threatening to rip through her again and she stopped.

_Gwyn please, just tell him you're a fucking lich, look at him. LOOK AT HIM!!!_ This was the loudest the voice had ever gotten and it made Gwyn's head ache more and more. 

"Gwyn...?" Magnus' eyes showed concern, his face looked serious. 

"Magnus...I'm..." She was cut off by Magnus pressing his lips to hers softly, and holding her face in his hands. She was caught off guard at first, and it took her a moment to register what was happening, but when she did, she kissed him back, and it felt like an eternity had passed when they both pulled away. They looked at each other for a long time afterwards, trying to read the other, and finally Gwyn spoke.

"Magnus," She sighed and prepared for the end of this, "I'm a-" Magnus stopped her. 

"A lich, I know. I've known for a while. Taako assumed that's what you were, and I did some digging of my own. I know you've been around for a long time, too." He paused. 

Gwyn's eyes read only fear, she wanted to run away, not just from Magnus, but from the moon base, the world, all of it. "Magnus," she whispered, "I'm so sorry I-" Magnus shushed her and pulled her to him quickly, wrapping his arms around her waist and back. He placed his face into the crook of her neck and just held her tightly. 

Her mind was racing, _does he hate me? Does he want to kill me? Does he love me? Does he still want me? Did he ever want me?_ Even though she was scared for what would happen next, she found herself wrapping her arms around Magnus' shoulders, and when she did, he lifted her onto his lap, one hand on her hip and the other wrapped protectively around her back. They sat that way for hours, just holding one another, the snow had covered the bench again, and the two had a generous dusting of it all over them. 

"Gwyn," Magnus finally spoke, "I want to stay here with you, for as long as you'll let me." Gwyn's face was buried in Magnus' neck and beard, and when she heard those words she squeezed him tighter, unable to convey that she wanted the same thing in words, when she lifted her head to look at him, she could see the love written all over his face, and she felt it deep in her soul, but with it came intense sadness. 

"Magnus, if you walked away right now, I wouldn't blame you, and if you tried to hunt me down, I wouldn't blame you. I'm...a lich, I'm not even human, let alone an elf...I just wanted to be normal, I just wanted a happy life. I wanted a family, I wanted love, and what I got was death." Her voice low and serious, it was unusual for her. 

"I would never hurt you, or walk away from you, you should know that by now. I don't care that you're a lich, I just want you to be mine, my woman, my family, my home." He spoke, sure in his words. 

"But what about Jules?" Gwyn felt the tears run down her face and they burned hot for once. "You loved her, so much."

Magnus stared at her for a long time, but said finally, "I never told you about...Jules, or that I called her that."


	6. Jules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwyn, what have you done?

The morning daybreak cast a golden glow over the moon garden, illuminating Magnus' auburn locks, and shining brightly off of Gwyn's silver mane. It was picture perfect in a still moment, but it was all crashing down around them as the two wordlessly stared at one another. Gwyn's eyes widened in fear, she slowly moved from Magnus' lap and stepped away from him. He sat motionless, anger and confusion burning in his face. She dared not speak, and instead made mental notes of an escape route in case he was going to attack. Magnus always kept Rail Splitter on his back, even on the moon base, and never before had Gwyn worried about him using it against her. 

"Gwyn. Don't you fucking walk away from me." His voice low and deadly. "Tell me how you know about Julia, now." The words oozed out of him like poison.

She watched him, she had no escape, for the moment she were to move, he'd already have his ax drawn. She had to choose now; death, or the truth. Death seemed, at the time, less painful. 

"I can't...I can't tell you, Magnus." She whispered. 

Magnus stood quickly, moving towards Gwyn who's legs had locked in fear. "Can't?! Or is it won't?!" He yelled, grabbing her shoulders firmly, but not enough to ever hurt her. "Gwyn, please, just fucking tell me..." His eyes pleaded.

Gwyn wanted so badly to tell him the entire truth, but she knew it would be too much for him, and too much for her. She looked into his eyes and saw the pain that had made it's home there. "Magnus...I can't, there's so much I can't tell you." She closed her eyes waiting for what he would do, prepared for the worst at this point. Magnus let go of her shoulders, and the thought of Rail Splitter coming down on her made her keep her eyes shut tighter. 

But it never came down, she slowly opened her eyes to find that Magnus had gone, his footprints in the snow leading back to the door, which was still open. Gwyn's legs fell from under her and she collapsed into the snow, sobbing quietly. 

_It's better this way, and you know it. We aren't good enough for him, you did the right thing. I promise._ The voice in Gwyn's head hissed happily. _Stop your weeping, girl, you've been through worse that heart break, hell, you're a lich, you've died several times, this can't be worse than that._ Gwyn's tears slowed and this time her own voice boomed in her head, "I'd die a thousand times over for him, not just once"

-

Days had passed since Gwyn last saw Magnus, and she'd kept up her daily routine of working at the bakery, and visiting the moon garden, hoping to find him there. Day's turned into weeks, with no sign of him she'd began to accept the fact that he'd never come back to her. Sometimes Merle would come in, but they never talked about Magnus, and Taako stayed as far away as Magnus seemed to be. Gwyn's life became as lonely as it was before coming to the moon base, after all, who wants to stick around with a lich? 

It was almost Candlenights, and business started to ramp up for Gwyn, she was thankful because it offered her a distraction from the pain. Lucretia would come in every night and drink mulled wine with every one, and sometimes she would sit with Gwyn after hours and talk. Tonight was one of those nights, "Are you doing alright, dear?" 

"Oh yes, business has been great!" Gwyn gleamed. Lucretia raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "You know that's not what I meant. I haven't seen Magnus in here for weeks, I'm assuming you told him about being a lich?" She said gently, while placing a hand on Gwyn's. 

She sighed, "Yes, I told him. But I didn't tell him the entire truth, I couldn't."

Scanning Gwyn's face, trying to understand, "The whole truth? What more was there to tell?"

"Can I trust you? Can you swear to never tell a soul?" Her eyes darkened and serious, Lucretia nodded.


	7. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia knows. Magnus is missing. Gwyn remembers.
> 
> //flashbacks!

"Oh dear girl, I'm so sorry..." Lucretia sat stunned, gripping Gwyn's hand tightly, tears had streamed down her cheeks and left stains on her pantsuit. "Will you...ever tell him?"

"Lucretia, I fucking want to, but I just can't, it would kill him." She spoke, certain of herself. Gwyn had never been more sure of anything in her life, or lives. "I know how much he loved Julia, and what her death did to him, trust me, I know." Death had followed Gwyn everywhere she went, looming over her like a dark cloud. 

-

_As a small child, she helped her family run an orchard and farm, she milked cows, baked breads, and sometimes even did wood working with her father. The town they lived in was a workers town, miners, carpenters, farmers, and butchers. Every family pitched in and the town made a lot of money as folks came from all over for their services. She didn't have much time for fun, as she worked very hard, but every so often her father would let her take a day off, just to be a kid. She was friendly and well liked by everyone in the town, and it was easy for her to make friends. She soon found a young boy with auburn hair and run up to him happily, offering her hand out to him, "Hi! I'm Eris, wanna be friends?" _

_The young boy, took her hand and laughed, "Sure, I'm Magnus!"_

_The two children played together anytime they could, sometimes sword fighting with wooden swords. Eris' father began to allow Magnus to work at their family wood working shop, and grew very fond of the boy, taking him under his wing. Eris and Magnus spent many days together, building benches, tables, rocking chairs, and bed frames. And in exchange for the wood working experience, Magnus taught Eris how to swing an ax, to make it easier to get the wood she needed. It went very well for years, and when the popularity of the wood-shop skyrocketed, the town's income increased almost overnight, and it was allowing every one to get better materials and better equipment. _

_It couldn't have been more perfect, and even Eris' father had grown to enjoy Magnus' help. He soon talked to the boy's father and agreed that their children should, when they came of age, be married. The children, naturally, didn't care for that, but now wasn't the time to worry, they were still young._

_Until Eris got sick. The towns doctor ran as many tests as he could, but nothing came back certain, the only certain thing? _

_"Death." _

_And it didn't take long, she was gone in a matter of days. Her once tan sun-kissed skin now mottled with light grey, her golden locks, dulled, her body, reduced to bones. _

_The doctors said she was kissed by death, and that there was no cure. The town gathered at the funeral ceremony which was held under a giant evergreen tree, the only marker to her grave, a wreath of lavender. _

__

_Eris could see the funeral, the town, the sobs, but she couldn't find Magnus. She was scared, why was every one so sad? Why couldn't anyone hear her? Where was Magnus? She searched the entire town and found him in her family's wood-shop, crying over a carved figurine he had made, holding it tightly in his hands. Eris tried to touch his shoulder, but he didn't even feel it. He didn't hear her calling out to him, begging him to look at her. Instead, he grabbed a bag, packed only the necessities, and left. Over the years wherever he went, she followed, whether he realized or not._

_Eris, desperate and alone in the world, was eventually found by a man who called him self Barry. Barry J Bluejeans to be exact. He had seen her lingering near a boy while he worked to build a church. Barry quietly called to the girl, and she perked up, frantically looking around until she had laid eyes on the man, dressed in a plain shirt and fresh denim. He smiled at her and motioned for her to come to him, so she did. _

_"Sir, you can see me?" she asked softly._

_He nodded, and motioned for her to walk with him to a shop, as they entered, Eris saw all sorts of magical artifacts and tomes crowding this hole in a wall shop. Barry greeted the cashier, and continued on into a back room, closing the door behind Eris. _

_"What happened to you child? You should have moved on into the astral plane, you're dead." He said bluntly, as he took a seat at a large table._

_"I know I'm dead, don't remind me. What's an astral plane? I didn't see anything when I died, just my parents...they were crying." Eris had no need to sit, as she was able to levitate, this was perhaps the only perk of being dead. _

_"You didn't see anything?" Barry leaned forward, intrigued. "Child, what is your name?" _

_"Eris." _

_"And Eris, could you tell me how you died, if you remember?" Barry had pulled out an old book and a pen, ready to take notes. "And tell me everything you remember about your family and the boy you were following, don't skip out on the details, it's important." _

_"I got sick...and the doctor did all kinds of tests, he said...he said I was kissed by death. Apparently, there's no cure for it, and I kind of...just died. Why does it matter?" Clearly irritated. She continued to recall everything about Magnus and her family, and every bit of important information that she could remember about herself._

_"Listen kid, that wasn't a real doctor, that was an Alpha Lich, and he turned you into one." Barry's face looked grim and sad, "It's a shame really, you're so young."_

_"A lich? I don't understand..." Eris was confused and wished that she could just run home to her family._

_"You will, first we need to find you a new body, and a new name, kid." Barry took out a stone and talked into it in a language that Eris didn't know, and a voice replied from the stone. Barry and the voice talked for a few minutes, before he stood up and left the room. "Come on kid, we don't have all day, I got you a fresh body."_

_In an abandoned farm house miles away, stood a circle of liches, hovering over the fresh corpse of a 14 year old girl who had died in her sleep. Barry was able to transport the two of them to the house before the body had started to rot, and Eris was able to take over the new body. When she opened her eyes and saw all of these people around her she was startled at first, their faces looked different; almost distorted. _

_"You alright kid?" Barry spoke up, offering her a hand to help her sit up. She took it and threw her legs over the side of the table as she sat up, she quickly realized she had no memory of coming here, who these people were, and for that matter, any memories at all._

_"What happened? Where am I?! Who are all of you?" She began to panic, but Barry was quick to calm her. _

_"Listen we don't have time for this, read this book as fast as you can, and don't lose it, this book is a record of everything you did, from birth until now. We have to move, and fast, come on." Just like that, the other liches vanished, and Barry and Eris were back at the magical artifact shop._

_"Stay in this room kid, read that book, and speak to no one." With that he departed, promising he'd be back soon._

_Eris sat in a corner, wrapped in a red robe that Barry had given her to keep warm, and read the book. Hours had gone by and Barry had finally returned with provisions. _

_"Have you finished the book?" Eris nodded, though her face showed her confusion._

_"Let me explain it to you kid, you got sick, and Alpha Lich found you, and tricked your parents into letting it do tests on on you, but the tests were really it turning you into a baby lich, and you died. I got you a new body, so by technicality you're alive again, well, as alive as a lich can be. Now you need a new name, do you have one in mind?" Barry knew that all this was too much to process, but he had to get the ball rolling, because he didn't want the Alpha to find her, he wanted this girl to have a fighting chance to get the hell out of dodge. _

_"Why do I need a new name? What happens if the Alpha find me? What does he want with me?" She had so many questions, but time was going to run out. _

_"Just trust me, pick one, doesn't matter what it is, it just needs to be different." He pleaded. _

_"Fine, I guess, Valenna, Val for short?" _

_"Works for me! Now lets go!" He urged._

_Barry escorted Val through the shop and out into the woods nearby, "Val, go find Magnus, auburn hair, pretty bulky for a young kid, he works at the carpentry shop, you'll be safe with him, go!" _

_"What about you? What is happening?" Fear and confusion setting in. _

_But before she could get an answer, he vanished, leaving not a trace of himself behind. Val set out to find Magnus, and soon enough did. He was around the same age as her, his hair was a little longer now, he had gained some muscle, and had gotten a lot better with an ax. She was nervous, according to her books, he was her best friend, but he wouldn't recognize her this way. This was going to be a fresh start, so she cleared her throat from behind him to get his attention._

_He turned and looked at the girl behind him, and something immediately struck him as familiar. Her hair was a dull blonde, her skin slightly pale but mildly sun kissed, and her eyes were a very pale blue. "Hi, can I help you?" Magnus spoke, rubbing the sweat from his brow._

_"I'm Val, nice to meet you, I'm new around here and...I wanted to make a friend." She said nervously, offering her hand to him. He shook it, "I'm Magnus, let's be friends!" He gleamed, excited that someone was willing to talk to him. He didn't have any friends in this town, and the only person that talked to him was his boss. _

_As time went on Val and Magnus started working together on projects, and it felt so familiar to him. He eventually admitted that he had a friend when he was little and that Val reminded him of her. Val's heart sunk, because she wanted nothing more than to be able to tell Magnus that he was never alone, and she was by hi side through all of it. But how could she explain that she was a lich? She didn't even know what it was, never-mind how to tell someone that they were following them around as a spirit._

_It weighed heavy on her heart anytime Magnus talked about Eris' death. Sometimes it got so bad that a voice would whisper inside her head that she should tell Magnus the truth, but she knew she couldn't._

_Time went on, Val ended up getting hired by Magnus' boss and the two enjoyed working together on many orders. Barry kept an eye on the two, and was happy they were reunited, but it was also to keep them safe from the Alpha that was trying to hunt down Val. He kept the two safe for a few years, but the Alpha found them, and Barry couldn't hold his own._

_The Alpha was quick to find Val, and knew it was his newborn lich as soon as he laid eyes on the walking corpse. "My child," he would whisper in the night, outside of Val's home. "Come to me, my darling," the voice would worm it's way into her dreams and it was almost bewitching.Val did everything in her power to ignore it, protection magic, enchanting all entrances to her hut, and reading up on every bit of magic she could to keep herself and Magnus safe. She knew though, that her spells wouldn't hold forever, and that she had to document all of this as Barry did, so that she could come back to it later. Hiding the books in the old artifact shop, was the best option for her, but she knew she couldn't stay in that room forever. During the day it was fairly safe from what Barry had told her, so she was able to work and bond with Magnus while the sun was out, but the moment it set, Val ran home to hut and put all of her energy into keeping the Alpha out and away from herself and Magnus. _

__

_Val realized that over the years she had grown very fond of Magnus, she remembered from her book of memories that Barry wrote that at this age they would have been married. A part of her ached for Magnus to visit her in the night, and lay by her side. She had even made plans to ask for his hand soon, but it was ripped away from them all at once, when the Alpha caused the storm of a century that brought with it mass lightning storms, centering the strikes on Val's home, causing widespread fire almost instantly during the night. The next morning Magnus came to find Val, he was greeted with scorched earth where her little hut once stood, the remains black with ash. _

_"Val!" He screamed out, digging through the remains to find his friend, but there was nothing to find, the fire had destroyed everything, including Val._


	8. Reincarnated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of chapter 7, as it got way too long.

_Finding a new body was getting harder for Val. Barry left her instructions on how to forge a new one if it was needed but it wasn't magic that she had ever tried to use before. There were multiple tomes on Necromancy they she would rifle through. Living as a lich had gotten easier, she was able to touch things, which was always a plus in these situations. _

_She practiced animating the corpses of dead animals, there were a lot of failures, but eventually she got the hang of it. Once she was able to reanimate animals, she moved on to trying to create herself a new body, it would take years or study. _

_She found herself a cave deep underground, took all of the books that Barry left behind, and did what the books told her to. She created the darkest magic she could muster, developed sciences that she never thought possible, and eventually, with a little help from a shady warlock, she managed to create a new body from a little bit of biological material supplied to her by the same warlock. _

_Months went by as her new body formed in a chamber, she watched day by day as it grew, and waited. She kept studying the tomes of Necromancy so that if this ever happened again she would be ready to create her own body, instead of using corpses. Through the waiting she documented all of her memories so she could remember how to do it, and how to interpret it in a more time efficient way. _

_The day came and her new body was ready, she made her final notes to herself, before diving into the chamber to become one with her new form. On a piece of paper laying on the stacks of books was a note that read, "Your name is Julia, read these books, all of them, keep them here, and remember his place, go find Magnus, he has auburn hair, he lives in Raven's Roost." _

_When she emerged from the chamber, gasping for breath, the cave was only lit by about several dozen candles all sitting on a desk and scattered along the edges of the cave. She found an outfit laying neatly on a chair with another note that said, "You'll want to put these on before you head out." She dressed herself and sat at the desk and looked over the notes left behind by her lich form, and spent time reading the books to refresh herself on her memories. She took time to read every book, absorbing all the words carefully written out. _

_It was a lot to take in, but she knew that it was time to head to Raven's Roost to find Magnus, clearly there was something special about him. Her lich form had left intricate maps to get there and back with the safest routes to take to avoid deadly encounters._

_Maps in hand she went on her way, and after a two day journey found herself at the entrance to one of the most extravagant rock formations she'd seen. Upon entering the city she made headed straight towards the first place on the list that her lich form had left behind; Hammer and Tongs. _

_Before her stood a tall, muscular man, with curly auburn locks, splitting logs with a giant ax. He had scars all over his hands and arms, and one large one over his right eye. _

_She cleared her throat to get his attention, and he turned around quickly, "Hello! Welcome to Hammer and Tongs, how can I help you today?"_

_"Hi, My name is Julia, I'd like to apply for a position here, if I can." She asked, hoping she was following the script well that her lich form had left her._

__

_"Oh absolutely! We're always looking for help, do you have any qualifications?" He beamed, rubbing the sweat from his brow with a rag he kept through a belt loop. _

_"I can swing an ax pretty well, and wood working has been in my family for generations. I have a passion for it, as well as cooking."_

_"You sound like my ideal woman then," He laughed loudly. The two worked together for many years at the craftsman shop, bonding slowly and naturally. They became the most productive team in the shop, and together they produced the most beautiful products Raven's Roost had ever seen. Cherry wood rockers, Oak-wood mantles, Pine doors, and tables made of Alpine Spruce, that held the most intricate carvings the town had ever seen. They were perfect together, and everyone knew it. Their relationship was truly two individuals coming together as one stronger unit. Many times over their neighbors asked if they were ever going to get married, and the two never had a solid answer for them. _

_That is until one day, Julia proposed to Magnus. It was the happiest day of their lives, and the ceremony was a wonder to behold. Her dress was lavender colored, and laced up like a corset in the back, her dull dirty blonde hair held back with cream colored ribbons, her pale skin glowed under the sunlight. They spoke their vows to each other softly, because those words were a secret between them, and them alone. Their marriage was pure and strong, and they knew that through hell or high water, they would fight to the death for the other. _

_The day came that they would have to fight to the death, when Raven's Roost's corrupt leader, Governor Kalen was rebelled against, this rebellion was led by Julia and Magnus as they rallied the common-folk against the Governor. Ultimately, they were victorious, and the celebrations were extensive. However they would be short lived as Magnus kissed Julia Burnsides goodbye for, unknowingly, the last time._

_Possessed by the Alpha Lich, Governor Kalen returned the city, and rigged the support columns with bombs. He knew where Julia would be and so he detonated them all, and Raven's Roost came crashing down into the see, taking Julia and 76 other innocent people with it. The rest of the town was forced to evacuate their homes, leaving behind a ghost town, leaving Magnus none the wiser until he returned a little over a week later, _

_He looked out at the decimated town in horror, and screamed out for Julia, but to no avail. There was a plaque in place that listed all of those who perished in the bombing, and when he saw her name he fell the ground in a heap of screams and tears, cursing the man he knew was responsible, and swearing to murder him if he ever found him._

_Julia's lich body cried out for him, but it was hopeless, she knew she couldn't hurt him any more for it was too selfish for her to stay by his side. She left him behind as he wailed out for her, begging for her to come back, and when she found her way back to her cave, she too wailed out in agony for Magnus._

_Even as a lich her heart ached day after day for him, but she swore to never seek him out again, she would never hurt the man she loved. She swore to kill the Alpha, even if it killed her for good, so she created a body from scratch that wouldn't feel pain, a strong, capable elven woman, with grey skin and eyes, with silver hair, and the strength of a bear. She would be fierce, but loving, and her name, the last name she'd ever give her self, Gwyn._

_After months of crafting, she created the body she knew would be her last, and entered it. When her eyes opened, she had no need to read the tomes of her life, for she remembered. For years after the tragic ending of her life with Magnus, she hunted every single lich, gathering information on the Alpha, through various means. Some liches were open on giving out information, some needed a little coaxing, and some chose to die. Regardless, she was on the Alpha's trail, and he knew it. _

_Gwyn had him on the run, he was scared, no lich was strong enough, or brave enough to come after him before, and when she did finally catch him, she tortured him for several years, ripping apart his soul shred by shred, until he too, wailed for the end. She did not give him his end for a long time, in fact, when she felt he was too close to death, she healed him, just so she could keep up the torture. _

_Every day he begged for death, and when he did, she kept him alive another day. She had no plans on ever letting him go, she wanted him to feel the pain that he'd inflicted on her, for centuries. Eventually though, he did die, as the last piece of his soul was torn from him, and the last words he heard before he died? _

_"For Magnus you undead fuck."_

-

"Madam Director, where is Magnus...?" Gwyn asked softly.

"He's...Missing, my dear."


	9. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Magnus, please come back.

Gwyn knew deep down where Magnus had gone, and she knew that she needed to go after him. When she was preparing to head down to the ground she heard a knock at her door. It was Lucretia and she was holding a long black feather. This was the biggest clue to finding Magnus. Lucretia informed Gwyn that Magnus' room was left pristine, save for the feather and his stone of far-speech that were left on his bunk. 

"I've got to go find him, he's going to get himself killed out there." Gwyn's face dark and stern, she hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, and had cried every night since their night in the moon garden. This was her last chance to make things right, Magnus was her only shred of true happiness, and she needed to see him at least one last time. Lucretia understood and left Gwyn to prepare herself for the blistering winter down below her. 

She took her time as it was her last night on the moon base, she cleaned her living quarters and erased any proof that she was ever there. Gwyn made her way to her bakery, she walked through the kitchen feeling tears well up in her eyes as she felt deep in her heart that this was the last time she would see this perfect little piece of heaven. She approached the giant hearth and knelt down to light it, she then stood and ran her fingers over the spines of the books that surrounded the hearth and began to pull some of them from the shelves. 

_Barry. Eris. Val. Julia. Gwyn._ Large tomes that she brought with her from her entire life's journey, all of the knowledge that Barry gave her on how to make a new body with necromancy magic, the events and memories of all of her lives, all of the memories of Magnus, and the detailed torture of the Alpha. One by one she laid them into the crackling flames and watched as they all burned to ash. Her heart sank deep, and she broke out into sobs and held her face in her hands as she wept. 

Gwyn said her goodbyes to her bakery and soon after made her way down to the world below. It was snowing and cold but there was no wind, the world around her stood silent and grey. Raven's Roost stood before her, the great ruins of her old home covered in snow and layers of glistening ice. The water at the base of the crumbled columns lapped against the iced over stone. She approached the memorial plaque and brushed the snow away, her eyes landed on _Julia Burnsides_, and it felt like she'd been gut punched. 

_Magnus deserved so much better than me, I wish I could have just stayed dead._ Tears welled up in her eyes and stung as they streamed down her chilled face, threatening to freeze in place. She pulled her furred hood up over her head and brought the rest of the fur cape around her arms, but to no avail as she was always cold. She found herself standing by the plaque and snow collected on her damp eyelashes, she felt like she couldn't move, and even felt that it would be better to just stay here and freeze to death. 

_"Find him, Gwyn! This is not the end for us yet, and I will not let you give up now!"_ This was the first time that distorted voice deep inside her had made itself known in a long time and it shocked her. 

_"Get over your fucking pity party, if you won't grow a backbone, I'll do it for you, now move."_ The voice was loud and deep, and it caused Gwyn to shake in fear. 

She was bracing herself to turn around and head away from Raven's Roost but as she did she heard the soft crunch of snow from shortly behind her and turned quickly to see a huge ax being swung at her coupled with the screams from a large hooded figure. Gwyn just managed to move out of the way as the ax fell heavily into the snow. She cowered and held her arm over her face to brace for impact.

"You fucking coward! Face me! Face me you evil fuck!" The figure screamed, and moved to raise his ax again. Gwyn was frozen in fear, unwilling to look at her soon to be killer and waited for her life to end, but it didn't come. 

"Why did you do it?! Julia was all I had, and you took her from me!" The loud voice cracked, but Gwyn didn't move. She was then suddenly ripped from the ground by her neck and lifted into the air, she came face to face with a wild eyed, disheveled Magnus. 

He held his ax in one hand raised high, his other hand gripping Gwyn's throat so tightly that she couldn't breathe and began to choke and weakly flail. Magnus at first didn't even seem to notice it was her, and shook her roughly, and in a furious voice, "You killed Julia, my fucking wife!" His grip tightened around Gwyn's throat and she choked out, "Magnus!"

Blind with rage he threw Gwyn against the memorial plaque, causing the old wood it was sat on to crumble under pressure. Her body fell limp and she weakly looked up at Magnus as he now held his ax two-handed above his head. 

_I deserve this, I'm so sorry Magnus, I never meant to hurt you._ She thought, she felt calm, as she began to accept the fact that she was about to die but the voice inside her screamed out, and all at once Gwyn felt her body stand on it's own, and her vision went black. 

Gwyn's eyes went entirely black, and she used force magic to shove Magnus away from her, sending him and his ax flying into the snow. She seemed to almost float towards him, and Magnus scrambled backwards. "What are you gonna do? Kill me? Do it! Just like you killed Julia!"

_"Silence!"_ Gwyn's voice loud, deep, and heavily distorted. She held out her hand and with force magic, Magnus lifted from the ground and was pulled towards Gwyn. She moved to look him in the eyes, and spoke softer, _"Magnus, am I who you think I am?"_

He grunted and flailed, but said nothing. Gwyn's eyes narrowed and she repeated the question.

"K-Kalen" He choked out. "You're Governor Kalen."

_"Am I? Look closer."_ Her eyes slowly returned to their normal grey, and they both lowered to the ground. 

Magnus blinked several times and stared into Gwyn's eyes, her beautiful grey eyes that reflected the snow around them, he scanned her face and saw those familiar wrinkles near her eyes, her pale skin, and silver hair, and as he began to calm down, he could smell lavender. 

"Magnus, who am I?" She asked softly, moving towards him slowly bringing her hand to his face. He flinched and grabbed her hand but didn't pull it away. He didn't answer, but his face wasn't filled with rage anymore and he was visibly more calm. Gwyn moved closer to him and placed her other hand on his face. "Magnus..."

"Gwyn...?" He spoke. "What the fuck are you doing out here, how did you find me?" He didn't sound angry, but hurt instead. 

Her heart was heavy, "Please, come with me, we need to find shelter for the night, and I'll explain everything." She insisted. Magnus seemed hesitant but he agreed, being led by Gwyn to the shelter she made in the cave after she was killed at the hands of Governor Kalen. There were still candles, a fire pit, and a bed made of thick furs. Gwyn sat by the pit and quickly sparked a small fire and lit the candles, she then sat on the bed of furs and motioned for Magnus to join her. He sat by her side and she pulled out some dried meats and a bit of bread that she had brought with her from her bakery and offered it to him. 

He took some and enjoyed it in silence as he hadn't eaten in days and was surely starving. The two sat together for a long while, not daring to speak first. Eventually, Gwyn sighed, looked at Magnus, and realized that she really fucking loved him, he was so handsome and strong, and for a second she wanted to pull him to her and take him all for herself. But she knew all too well, and that she needed to tell him the truth. Magnus watched her carefully, trying to read her face and not sure how to prepare himself for what she was about to tell him. 

She spilled all of her darkest secrets to him, and recounted the events of how they met, and how she died, over and over. She never thought in a million years that she would tell him any of this, in fact the reason she had retreated to the moon base was so that she could eventually _forget_ him and let him live a happy life without her. She admitted that she was selfish in the fact that she kept entering his life because she needed him more than he needed her. She also described what happened after the rebellion, and what the alpha lich did to Governor Kalen, and what she did to the alpha. She could no longer look Magnus in the eyes, and looked down at her lap as she finished her story and sat in silence awaiting Magnus' reaction. 

He was filled with many emotions, naturally. this was so hard to unpack and understand but finding out that the elven woman that he was slowly falling in love with was at once point his childhood friend, and also his wife was almost too much to comprehend. He looked at her maybe far too long before lifting her chin, making her look at him. He wanted to read her eyes, and he saw true love and sadness deep in those frozen pools. All at once he felt stupid, because he had looked into those eyes his whole life, and never once realized that they belonged to the woman he loved more than life itself. 

"Gwyn, I'd kill for you, and in fact I have killed for you, even if I didn't know it. You are my woman, and you always have been. I may not have known it, but I am yours, my heart, my shield, and my sword. I want every part of you, and I want us to be one again." His voice soft and loving, as he pulled her to his lap and held her as if it was the last time he ever would. Gwyn was shocked and quickly wrapped herself around him and sobbed into his shoulder, "Magnus, I'm so sorry I did this to you, I never meant t--" Magnus hushed her and rocked back and fourth with her and she wailed. 

"It's okay baby, shhhh, I'm here." His large hands rubbed her back and head, only taking a break to pull a thick black fur hide around them. The two stayed in their warm embrace through the night, and woke up in each other's arms for the first time in years. Gwyn sleepily smiled at him, and placed her hand on his face before moving to kiss him softly. Magnus had other ideas, and pinned her down before moving above her, and wildly ravaging Gwyn like it was the first time he'd ever done it, because it was.


End file.
